Catching up in this crazy world...

So today is a day I need to vent and write A LOT!

To first catch up, I loved spending the Turkey Day holiday with my family and husband.  It was so nice... I miss them terribly, but I sure do love my life with my husband... And I am more than excited to go see my family in Fresno for Christmas!!! :)  

I am really freaking tired of hearing people complain and bitch about their fucking children and how they never have any time anymore, and all they want is some time to themselves... Like really? What the fuck did have kids for then???  I swear the next person to bitch about their kids or pregnancy will get a piece of my mind and that will most likely be last of that friendship.  

I am driving SIX hours (which I don't mind so much anymore)  JUST TO TRY TO GET PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!  I would love for someone to walk in my shoes for a month and feel the extreme disappointment and emotions that goes along with trying to conceive... I so love my husband, he's got humor that I need and gives me all the support and love in the world... We were joking the other night and he says to me, "Babe, I think we're going about this the wrong way, maybe if we do drugs and drink, go on welfare and party all the time, it will happen and you will get pregnant..."  I LOVE THIS! He's soooo right... People who do crack and heroin get pregnant all the time... LOL... No, I'm kidding, we'd never do that of course...

After the bad news that this cycle was freaking pretty much a bust... I am feeling angry and sad, but also positive and hopeful for the next cycle... It's such an up and down roller coaster of emotions...On top of that, I've decided that as a Colorado native, I hate freaking Texas drivers... They suck... But on the up side I DID NOT hit any deer today!!! :)  

So in the Army wives community, there are some that can be sooo gosh darned bitchy and ridiculous!  If someone hit's your garage door, I'd expect them to pay for it, and if I hit someones, I'd pay for it also... My point is, people act so much higher than thou and hoity toity... UGH!  We're having our battalion Xmas party Friday so I am excited for that, and I'm cooking a ham and a side dish... I wish more people would be pumped up about this kind of stuff because it's so important to have Army pride especially at an Airforce base!!!! BOO. LOL.  

OMG!!!! the Broncos coach was FIRED!!! PRAISE the LORD!!!! Okay, I hope my stinkin' Broncos get their shit together now!!!!!!!!!!  I almost tempted to start rooting for Dallas... Omg... 

I am reading the second book right now, "assholes finish first", it's the second book by Tucker Max after he wrote "I hope they serve beer in hell"... He's so chauvinistic and gross, but I LOVE IT!!!!!!  I think I've got portions of my brain that are more along the lines of a man than woman... HAH!  

I really can't wait to see my hub's fam!  I am so lucky to have such wonderful in-laws...  And God Bless my mother in-law for being such a good lady to everyone!  

Knowing that I have family and friends to lean on during TTC, makes this journey much more bearable... Kat, you are so awesome and have made my day so much better many times when I needed a life me up, or just someone to vent to... You so rock.  :) Thanks Hunny!  I always tell my hubby and parents thank you for their support, so I won't mention it again... :)  I think I may go get a bottle of wine... I feel deserving and lush-ish (hehehe) tonight! :) 

For now... This is Kate signing off... My thought for the day... "You bring your Karma to you..." 

What Possessed Me to Blog...

So after giving this much thought, and reading other people's blogs, I feel that I have enough to say every day about SOMETHING, so I have started this "journey".

I really won't have a main theme for my blog, just whatever is going on that day in my life.  I am Trying to Conceive so that will be in here, also any personal rant, political, what ever comes out of my mouth will go here.  My life is all real, I curse like a sailor, love my friends and family, truly love and enjoy being an Army wife, treat my dog Stewie like a kiddo, and always vote conservative. :)

So I'd like to give a BIG F-You to the medications I am taking, they make me, we'll just say "not myself".  I sometimes sit and wonder to myself what the hell is going on in my freaking body and why I can't just get pregnant.  I have friends who have kids, some on their 2nd or more, who DON"T NEED kids.  Really?  We're struggling to conceive one, and your dick-wad of a "husband" looks at you and you get pregnant?  What the fuck, over.  It disgusts me beyond belief.

I torture myself by watching stupid shows like "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom"...  But I do have a good laugh most of the time because of their struggles, I know we won't struggle.  Not saying having kids isn't hard and stressful, but there's a difference between struggling and NOT.  I had someone in my life for a long time, she was my best friend for years.  She's battled bulimia and I'm sure still does, has no motivation in life, is with a piece of shit loser guy, lives with her mother in-law, treats her family like shit, and got pregnant before I did.  I am most bitter over that whole situation.  I don't know why I dwell on it, but Jebus, really?  My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, we've got a home, we're stable, I'm going to school, only a half a year until I have my associates degree, and all we're doing is trying to add on to our beautiful little family.

Now, people who know me know I have PCOS (Poly cystic ovary syndrome), which is the reason for the infertility.  Along with PCOS comes unwanted weight which is constantly a battle for me, acne which has NEVER in my life been so bad (I look like I'm 13), and hormonal issues (GOD BLESS MY HUSBAND HE'S A SAINT).   All I have ever wanted was to be a mom, which I inadvertently told my NOW husband on our FIRST date.  WHAT THE FREAK WAS I THINKING?  Oh well, he obviously liked me, we're together now 2 and a half years later.  I just sometimes don't know what God is doing giving crack whore women babies, or giving them to people who don't want kids.

It's been trying on my faith and my relationship with God, as we've gotten deeper into this journey, but I still believe he will pull us through anything and give us our family.

This is just a brief "blog" test to see if I've got what it take! ;) HAHA... Screw that, I know I do...Mrs. Opinionated as always.

Post Script... I got a call back from doctor's office today, Appointment in San Antonio Friday! Sweeeet...