So after giving this much thought, and reading other people's blogs, I feel that I have enough to say every day about SOMETHING, so I have started this "journey".
I really won't have a main theme for my blog, just whatever is going on that day in my life. I am Trying to Conceive so that will be in here, also any personal rant, political, what ever comes out of my mouth will go here. My life is all real, I curse like a sailor, love my friends and family, truly love and enjoy being an Army wife, treat my dog Stewie like a kiddo, and always vote conservative. :)
So I'd like to give a BIG F-You to the medications I am taking, they make me, we'll just say "not myself". I sometimes sit and wonder to myself what the hell is going on in my freaking body and why I can't just get pregnant. I have friends who have kids, some on their 2nd or more, who DON"T NEED kids. Really? We're struggling to conceive one, and your dick-wad of a "husband" looks at you and you get pregnant? What the fuck, over. It disgusts me beyond belief.
I torture myself by watching stupid shows like "16 and Pregnant" and "Teen Mom"... But I do have a good laugh most of the time because of their struggles, I know we won't struggle. Not saying having kids isn't hard and stressful, but there's a difference between struggling and NOT. I had someone in my life for a long time, she was my best friend for years. She's battled bulimia and I'm sure still does, has no motivation in life, is with a piece of shit loser guy, lives with her mother in-law, treats her family like shit, and got pregnant before I did. I am most bitter over that whole situation. I don't know why I dwell on it, but Jebus, really? My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, we've got a home, we're stable, I'm going to school, only a half a year until I have my associates degree, and all we're doing is trying to add on to our beautiful little family.
Now, people who know me know I have PCOS (Poly cystic ovary syndrome), which is the reason for the infertility. Along with PCOS comes unwanted weight which is constantly a battle for me, acne which has NEVER in my life been so bad (I look like I'm 13), and hormonal issues (GOD BLESS MY HUSBAND HE'S A SAINT). All I have ever wanted was to be a mom, which I inadvertently told my NOW husband on our FIRST date. WHAT THE FREAK WAS I THINKING? Oh well, he obviously liked me, we're together now 2 and a half years later. I just sometimes don't know what God is doing giving crack whore women babies, or giving them to people who don't want kids.
It's been trying on my faith and my relationship with God, as we've gotten deeper into this journey, but I still believe he will pull us through anything and give us our family.
This is just a brief "blog" test to see if I've got what it take! ;) HAHA... Screw that, I know I do...Mrs. Opinionated as always.
Post Script... I got a call back from doctor's office today, Appointment in San Antonio Friday! Sweeeet...
